i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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