Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
