I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
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