how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
