I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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