Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
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drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
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