So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
