Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
he thought i was a dude.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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