YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Of course I have a pirate flag
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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