don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
