Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
