Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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