Pappa wants mamma naked
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
