Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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