Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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