Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
