I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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