I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
