What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
