Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
