I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
