She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
