ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
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