Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
