Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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