if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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