Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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