Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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