we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
