My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
