1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I think I sprained my soul last night
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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