the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
