Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
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Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
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This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?