im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Put some vodka in it
put some vodka in it
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list