when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.