I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?