Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
