so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
