Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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