No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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