You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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