need another drink. this is the easiest way
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
