So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize