He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
