His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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