I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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