I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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