I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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