wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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