people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I've blown a few things in my day
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
