he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
