I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
They have beer where we have blood.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
