we're blogging at a bar
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
