Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
