No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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