is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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