my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
