Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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