True but thats because hes a fetus.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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