DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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