I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
