Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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