yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
